In light of the recent national conversation on racism, my book pick of the month is White Fragility: Why It’s So Hard for White People to Talk About Racism by Robin DiAngelo. You may be wondering what this has to do with therapy.
This is a controversial book and I try not to be a controversial gal, so why I am I recommending it? The main reason is that I want to signal to you—my readers, friends, and potential clients, that I value engaging in difficult conversations and taking a hard look at one’s behaviors and thought processes. This inclination to critically look inward is an essential part of the therapeutic process and how personal development and growth work.
White Fragility is a good place to start if you are a white person interested in looking inward at your racial biases and understanding your role in systemic racism. That being said, I also value gently looking inward, which is not really the tone this book sets. This book at times glorifies flagellating oneself for one’s unintentionally racist behavior. This isn’t a perfect book and I don’t endorse all of the ideas DiAngelo presents. Unlike most of the books on my blog, I don’t think it’s great for everyone.
In fact, after the initial publication of this post I am coming back to link to a few excellent critiques of the book that I find to be very helpful in clearly articulating the problematic parts of the book:
The Dehumanizing Condescension of White Fragility in The Atlantic by Jon McWhorter
Linguist Jon McWhorter Says ‘White Fragility’ is Condescending Towards Black People on NPR
White Fragility is Real. But “White Fragility” is Flawed by Carlos Lozada in The Washington Post
In recommending this book, I am taking a stance that I teach many of my clients in therapy, the BOTH/AND stance. Most things in life are not black and white, and White Fragility is no exception. (It seems like there should be a pun here, but I couldn’t come up with anything witty.) There are parts that are very good and concisely explain white privilege and what it means. AND other parts have a tone that I dislike.
The title of DiAngelo’s book correctly implies that many white people are extremely uncomfortable contemplating their own white privilege and participation in systemic racism. However, her preferred alternative suggests the necessity for white people to forever remain in a state of hyper-vigilance so that we never say anything remotely racist, inadvertently implying that black people are also extremely fragile and are always harmed by unintentionally hurtful comments from white people. Jon McWhorter said it better in the NPR article, “ I’m saying that if you write a book that teaches that Black people’s feelings must be stepped around to an exquisitely sensitive degree that hasn’t been required of any human beings, you’re condescending to Black people. In supposing that Black people have no resilience, you are saying that Black people are unusually weak.”
I could go on, but I’d rather you look into it for yourself. The book is not perfect. There are a lot of great new books on racism and I haven’t yet read them all, but this is a good place to start. I value engagement in the national conversation about racism and I feel that I would be remiss if I did not include a resource on my website for readers and clients to further explore the issue and engage in their own personal work. I wish you happy and contemplative reading.