The idea for this blog series has been percolating in my mind for quite a while. It’s always exciting when several areas of interest can be combined into one united purpose. Those of you who know me well know that I LOVE to read. I also like to write, and I am passionate about my work as a family therapist.
One thing that makes reading even more fun for me is participating in book clubs and getting to know what books my friends have really enjoyed and why. I take great nerdy pleasure in adding recommendations to my ever-growing “to-read” list. I especially appreciate when other professionals I know and trust make recommendations.
Thus, the idea for this blog series was born. Whether you are a mental health professional yourself, or are just looking for the right book for a personal issue you are dealing with right now, I thought you might find it helpful to know what books I recommend to clients, what books I am reading to keep myself informed on social issues, and what books I find the most helpful to strengthen relationships, alleviate mental health symptoms, and become more educated in my field.
Each month, I plan to share one book title I have found to be useful in my professional or personal life with a brief description of why I think the book is worth your time. I also plan to share a few quotes from the book to get you excited about reading it. Without further ado, here is my choice for January 2019:
The Secrets of Happy Families: Improve Your Mornings, Tell Your Family History, Fight Smarter, Go Out and Play, and Much More by Bruce Feiler
With a title like that, who wouldn’t want to read it? This is a great book written for those who are not into self-help, but still want to learn how to improve their family life. The book is written in a more journalistic style in which the author experiments with principles in his personal life, delves into the research on the subject, and then writes a memoir/informational book about it, similar in format to Gretchen Rubin’s The Happiness Project.
What’s great about this book is that since it’s not self-help, it’s not preachy. The author chooses principles that he would like to learn about (how to talk to your kids effectively about sex) and issues in his own family that he would like to improve (how to balance grandparent involvement). Then he talks to real people who are getting things right, and experts in other innovative fields such as business, sports, and the military. He dives into the research and tries to implement what he has learned in his own family. Then he documents the results and lessons learned in this book.
The funny part about me recommending this book is that the author specifically decided not to talk to any family therapists or experts in the field because to him, the books he read during his research that were written by experts “seemed tired and out-of-date”. From my perspective, Feiler bent his rule about experts at times, such as when he interviewed Dr. Gary Chapman, author of The Five Love Languages. Though Dr. Chapman built his career around helping improve marriages and families, technically, his degrees are from theological seminaries and specialize in religion, not therapy.
Feiler writes in the introduction that, “I’m almost prepared to guarantee that you’ve never encountered at least three-quarters of the ideas in this book” (p. 8). Since I do my best to keep up-to-date on new ideas and best practices in my field, I was familiar with most of his ideas already, but regardless of familiarity with the material, his writing style keeps the information fresh and exciting. The book touches on timeless topics that every family struggles with such as how to improve that dreaded morning routine of getting kids up and out the door efficiently and pleasantly, or how to be supportive in youth sports without being overbearing. If you are looking for some practical ideas to improve your family life that you can quickly integrate without having to wade through chapters on theory first, give this book a try.
